Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

So I go back to school on Monday, I know I made that abundantly clear in my last entry but now its really setting in and it sucks. Maybe I'm over exaggerating a bit because I have alot to look forward to this semester and some new opportunities I hopefully will take. But some things seem to be left undone or maybe just left complicated.

I have stressed my desire to some people to just date again which I have in the most part been actively pursuing for like four years now lol. Needless to say it has not been successful, I think mostly on my own misguided thought processes and my emotions getting the better of me. But I am currently trying to pursue possibly dating a girl at school if things go according to plan and I just mmmm I don't know, ask the girl out. But something recently has cropped up that is really irking me and not in a dismal way but a confusing way.

I got to see one of my good friends over break, someone who I think the most of and probably would be lost if I didn't have her to listen to me from time to time. With us both being in college we only talk on occasion but when we do get to talk or meet up again everything just picks up like old times. After saying we would hang out over our winter break we finally got to do so at the tail end and it was great, we spent the whole day just hanging out talking our heads off and just enjoying eachothers company. The thing is it became clear to me that I started to muster up old feelings that I had for her dating back to freshman year of high school. Now I had gotten over those feelings and had just been best friends with her from sophomore year on but listening to both our problems, talking about our interests and just how much we both enjoy our company really got me thinking that I could possibly get myself together and maybe ask her out one day. I wouldn't be expecting results in all honesty, it would just be a test to see if something like this could work. If at the end of the day we did go out even if it was just once and it didn't work, I could easily move on in the comfort of knowing that she is still my best friend.

Even some of my friends who know my long standing history with this girl know that I never deep down let my feelings for her go away and they even welcomed the idea (or at least they said it, doesn't mean they meant it) that maybe we should date one day. It's kind of left me completely confused. I would rather not talk to her about this situation only because I wouldn't want to strain our already solid friendship as being just best mates (how English of me). I think realistically I need to just re-examine the situation. I plan to continue to try and meet girls at school and I can't let something like this necessarily get in the way. I am not going to let opportunities fly past me based on a what if scenario that could possibly not happen, even though I would welcome the opportunity with open arms. But, as I so frequently say anymore, I digress.

I've been writing more and more now and I think I got some good solid editorials waiting in the wings for the targum this semester. I'm gonna try and make this blog more frequent and maybe jazz it up a bit with some pictures and bumper stickers and shit. Anywho I close with giving a list of the top ten most played songs on my Ipod this week:

1) Mott the Hoople- Walking With A Mountain
2) Spoon- Don't Make Me A Target
3) MGMT- Time to Pretend
4) MIA- Bird Flu
5) The Zombies- This Will Be Our Year
6) Paul McCartney- All Things Must Pass (George Harrison cover)
7) ELO- Showdown
8) The Move- Fire Brigade
9) Rilo Kiley- Portions for Foxes
10) Oasis- Don't Look Back in Anger